Terra

terra__firma @ 2006-05-08T18:30:00

2006-05-08T22:30:41Z

I miss writing in this silly little thing.

Tell me, how come none of my override codes are working?
I've been absent for about four months.
heh.

terra__firma @ 2006-03-08T22:25:00

2006-03-09T03:56:27Z

Life.

Hi.
I've realized I have not utilized this live-journal shenanigan as much as need be. I'm not too concerned either. These days, I have a boyfriend who adores me. Love.

I also lost my job. You all know that by now, but it's simply just the thought of working at the Modern was the most marvelous job a girl could ask for, and I'm not being able to let it go. Obsessed.

These days, I'm thinking more of consequential outcomes. Every time I decide I will not try or do any more drugs, I wallow in this sappy, utmost pathetic state until some happy-body rolls around with a eighth. Pot is not a drug, it's an essential. Beer.

I feel absolutely aesthetic, and I'm just itching to go shopping with my income tax return. Does anyone want to go to Chicago next weekend? These days, hypocrisy (sociability) is key, and I just might have my contradictory persuasive speaking down to a tee. Troubadours.

TALK TO TERRA.

terra__firma @ 2006-01-31T14:50:00

2006-01-31T20:19:15Z

Hello, hi.

I've concluded that I have never spoke specifically on livejournal about my life. It's probably for the best. I don't know exactly why, but I might as well have.

The past two months have been about boozing and promiscuity. There. & That's the blatant truth. I hope you understand that it has been a very rough holiday for me and my family. Coping is a real son of a bitch. I'm not going to be melancholy anymore.

I also understood that I used to write with passion, romanticizing just about every detail in my existence. Words would literally flood my keyboard full of hopeful thoughts and pretty alliterations. Rhymes and lyrics and haikus and proses. I owe you that.

+I'm supposed to be modeling for American Eagle in the summertime. I'm pretty pumped.
+My job is making me deaf. Whatever.
+I should be showering at this moment, but I continue to write something unfit to submit for my journal.
+I forgot about love.
+There's a webcam at the modern now. I think it's pretty lame. So I play with it.
+I am probably undeserving of a boyfriend, but I like to entertain the thought. A lot.
+Is anyone else obsessed with dying? hahah. No, not suicidal, but afraid they're going to have a heart attack?
+I need to lose like ten pounds. Then, perfection.
+Oh, I was arrested Monday morning at three am. Handcuffs, and all. :)
+VARIOUS LADS OWE ME BREAKFAST.
+For those who have not seen me and/or lost interest mildly, my hair is still red, and getting long. Indie as fuck.
+I haven't literally read a book in about a month. I'm losing it.
+I will be a doctor one day. Terra Irene Gillis, M.D. & You all will be lawyers.
+Tomorrow will be better.

Who likes Scrabble? Huh huh?!

I could kill you, sure, but I could only make you cry with these words. ♥

terra__firma @ 2006-01-26T18:38:00

2006-01-26T23:39:33Z

To be sincere, every fucking fiber of my body misses my Dad.

terra__firma @ 2006-01-17T03:50:00

2006-01-17T08:49:55Z

Bingo.

It's illegal, underage gambling.
Let's schedule a playdate.

terra__firma @ 2006-01-13T02:31:00

2006-01-13T07:37:09Z

Someone talk to me about their sex lives.

Uhm, I got you all beat. I bet this Gabapentin on it.

terra__firma @ 2006-01-06T17:24:00

2006-01-06T22:22:47Z

Why am I so gay?

terra__firma @ 2005-12-30T00:44:00

2005-12-30T05:47:39Z

When you see me coming, take off your running shoes. No more arms, and no more weapons, when I am coming for you.

terra__firma @ 2005-12-19T23:45:00

2005-12-20T04:49:40Z

I smoke pot with my boss on the job.

Whose cool now, motherfuckers?

terra__firma @ 2005-12-18T04:12:00

2005-12-18T09:13:13Z

Gonna start a revolution from my bed.

I sit here, smoking a clove given to me by emily waynick, first one in over a month, trying to verbalize my thoughts and emots for the contemporary. Well, let me save you the time and effort of reading any further, life's a real motherfucker.

heh. I mean it's great. I have a newfound appreciation for Oasis. Sick huh? I worked nine hours this evening. I have a car and a brain and a heart, but no license. Weird. I shall try and get it Monday to all the hopefuls I've been proclaiming. I decree I'm one nasty procrastinator.

This week Ive met quite a few intriguing gentlemen. Beer tales are common. Nonetheless, I sure hope I impressed. I aim to please, what can I say?

Now, what I truly want come tomorrow and the day after and fuck every day until Christmas, is to catch up with the people I left. Sincerely. Bundled up. Preferably in front of a fire place. Make more fragmented sentences. And talk. Talk. Talk until my lips are dry, and my throat is most ticklish.
It will be so pleasureful. I love inspiring. I love talking about future and near acquired dreams. I always seem ultimately motivated afterwards. The adrenaline, the love, the endorphin release is all so beautiful. Makes my eyes sparkle, breaks my heart.

When I was a child, my coloring books were all of harlequin illustrations. Exactly. My lungs are bleeding.

Cloves and coffee make me poop. True!

terra__firma @ 2005-12-13T18:14:00

2005-12-13T23:16:40Z

So a couple days ago, a gentleman suitor of mine asked me what pet peeves subsisted in my life. To which I responded " I have none, sir. " I was mistaken. You see, I have many & for some obscure reason 'Indie as Fuck Terra' will share them with you. I really got to thinking about this and lots of things bother me. It's okay to agree with me, I'm right a lot.

+ Looking at my last cigarette in the box. It's oh so sad.
+ Pooping in public places. And the DIRTY PEOPLE who do. ( I do )
+ Crinkling of any substance. IE the wrapping of crinkly saran wrap, or as simple as paper bag. I hate that. Dont crinkle around me or I will kill you.
+ The smell of a public restroom.
+ People that call you after 1 am and ask you for drugs. Lame Junkies.
+ Individuals that break up with you for no just reasons, only to realize that they're foolish scatterbrains that have fallen head over heals for you, again.
+ People who do E.
+ People on E.
+ Dogs licking your face.
+ Waitresses who shouldnt waitress.
+ Wet socks after stepping in the snow in my moccasins.
+ Balloons popping.
+ Panic! at the disco.
+ People with no skills.
+ Mt. fuckin' Carmel.
+ Not being "in love" with something.
+ Melancholy hoes and callers.
+ Alone time. Down time.
+ People who provide insufficient, vague answers to legitimate questions. Honestly! Who does that.
+ People who like shitty music. (I generalize a lot. Dont say you dont.)
+ Paradoxical contradictory hypocrites.
+ Catfish.

I dont know. Those are some, I suppose, off the top of my head.

I was also thinking about hanging out with Cortney Love. I dont know why, but she looks like fun. And I really think we could hit it off. Come to Michigan, you. You know, we could drop some acid and cut each others hair and make music and eat McDonalds real early in the morning. And you know, then just fuck lots of people. Sounds good to me. That girl is wild.

Well, that's all I have to say about that.

terra__firma @ 2005-12-11T18:08:00

2005-12-11T23:10:09Z

Dear December,

Please just go fucking kill yourself.

With all the sincerity in my heart,
Terra Irene

PS: I miss you October.

Hello, how are you?

2005-12-06T21:04:15Z

You're a beautiful guitar player. I'm just skiddish.

terra__firma @ 2005-12-02T01:00:00

2005-12-02T06:19:46Z

LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE MY LIFE LIFE LIFE MY LIFE MY LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE. Live.

"My old girlfriend's studying medicine." I would save your life if you got sick. Haven't seen you in a while. How have you been? Of course if you had the right insurance for it. "And I think if we got back together again, you know, give it a run, you know. You were my first love." You're very drunk and we were very young. Plus I'm going to see this guy and it might be love.

And I've been thinking about moving away. Now that we've had this talk, I definitely may.

This is what is happening. Right now. It is probably scrambled nothingness when you read it, me--apologetically, it makes perfect sense to my eyes.

+TALK TO ME. It's the second day of Christmas, and talk.
+Sometimes life is so good.
+I need to make a gorgeous portfolio.
+I work Saturday; Three to Eleven.
+I'm really fuckin' on. Sing along and love me.
+Thrifting; tea; underpants parties this weekend?
+I'm excitable. Let me charm you.
+Gettin' Fresh.

Terra's Picture Christmas Wish List(soon to be updated)

A small, quaint home for rent. (or apartment)

Love.

Liberation.

A kitten.

Endless amount of clothes from Urban Outfitters, and select items from lacoste, Delias, and American Apparel. ( not pictured, of course)

Uhh, Money. Duh.

If YOU can get me any of these things in the near future, I'll kiss you. With tongue. And then we can all play Scrabble and watch my new kitten dabble and pounce on sparkly wrapping paper.

terra__firma @ 2005-11-21T19:58:00

2005-11-22T01:07:52Z

Palindromes ♥

Aviva: Are you the same?
Mark: Yeah.
Aviva: Are you glad you're the same?
Mark: It doesn't matter if I'm glad, there's no free will. I mean, I have no choice but to choose what I choose, to do what I do, to live as I live. Ultimately, we're all just robots programmed arbitrarily by nature's genetic code.
Aviva: But isn't there any hope?
Mark: For what? We hope or despair because the way we've been programmed. Genes and randomness--that's all there is, and none of it matters.
Aviva: Does that mean you're never going to get married and have children?
Mark: I have no, any desire to get married or have kids. That's beyond my control. Really, it makes no difference since the planet's running out of resources and we won't survive to the next century.
Aviva: Well what if you're wrong? What if there is a God?
Mark: If that makes you feel better.

Thank you for reading. ♥

terra__firma @ 2005-11-19T22:47:00

2005-11-20T03:47:59Z

So I want to be in love.

terra__firma @ 2005-11-15T21:42:00

2005-11-16T02:48:57Z

So Little Terra finally got herself a J-O-B!

After an excruciating, tireless week of hunting..
That's right lovers, I did the impossible. Now come to the Modern Exchange. I'll gladly serve you a cup o' joe while you smoke a cigarette, browse through an eclectic vintage collection of goods, and have warm conversation with a charmer, like myself.

Life is pretty.

terra__firma @ 2005-11-14T00:58:00

2005-11-14T06:17:37Z

This weather has me wanting love more tangible. Something I can hold; it's getting rather cold.

+I'm getting hired this week. I dont know where yet. But! I will be serving food by the week's end, damnit.
+I adore gentlemen suitors. I cant help it. I do. My sincere condolences. heh, suckahs.
+Today, I was called beautiful at best twelve times.
+For the time being, I'm also probably the most narcissistic gal in Michigan.
+The thing is I miss having stability. I miss my boyfriends.

+My cunt is screaming.

I LOVE MY DINOSAUR MORE THAN YOU.

terra__firma @ 2005-11-10T04:43:00

2005-11-10T09:43:10Z

What a fucking nazi. Even Germany hates.

Anywho, it's almost five, thursday morn. I love it when I'm hopeful. I really do. I understand others around me find comfort when I'm happy. Good. Great. Thanks world. Youre not so scary, after all.

Tomorrow, I have three million job interviews to go to. Yikes! Shortly after, hanging out with Mr. Allen Park. Then art. Anything goes too. ANYTHING.

I WANT TO PHOTOGRAPH YOU!
+Stop by for some hot green tea and a neat song collaboration.
+I need your face on my computer.
+Some people make life worth living.
+I care about my own life again. My mannerisms need some absolution.
+I am compassionate and will hug you if you're feeling blue.
+My hair is still red.
+And you love it.

Edit// Sorry this update is so messy, frantic. I rushed. //Edit

terra__firma @ 2005-11-05T22:52:00

2005-11-06T03:57:28Z

I'm pretty sure I died several times this week.

I'm convinced that today I awoke in purgatory.

terra__firma @ 2005-11-02T22:25:00

2005-11-03T03:33:46Z

Oh, Mary Jane.

Yeah, I hope I dont die of a opiate overdose at 27, either.

Beginning

++I ASPIRE TO BE A HAPPY CAMPER BY FRIDAY.
+And would you fuck me?
+'Cuz I'd fuck me.
+New LiveJournal LayOut.
+New Life is happening.
+Ted Leo is coming next Wednesday!
+Yeah, so I quit school. Good choice, by far.
+I'll still be graduating in June. I swear it.

Middle

++I cant write anything at this very moment. It may come out explicitly in words or too vague. Just call me. Rather, just see me. I'll tell you all about my endeavors recently. Its fucking weird. (NOTE: "Weird" is neither positive, nor negative.)
+I smoke wayyy too much. It's okay, if I really plan to die at thirty.
+Wanna have coffee with Terra this weekend? Hollar at your girl. We'll talk about life.
+313 384 4734<33

End

++J.J. sings well.
+TELL ME YOU LOVE ME AND ILL HANDWRITE YOU A LETTER. TRUTH.
+I yearn to be your muse. Its why I was born.
+This is so unpredictable it makes me wanna pee.
+The rumors you heard were right! I give great BJ's.

terra__firma @ 2005-10-28T00:19:00

2005-10-28T04:26:43Z

Sometimes I try real hard, and I get absolutely no where.

everything is backwards. life is backwards. i dont care if im grammatically correct or not. fuck grammar right now. nothing is beautiful at 12:21 am. fighting for the smallest goal, to gain a little self control.

and im trying real hard. real hard.

terra__firma @ 2005-10-26T16:39:00

2005-10-26T21:04:22Z

My heart needs to be touched. Reach inside my chest, ripping my connective tissues, breaking right through the sternum; pull that muscle out, tearing sinews apart all the way and squeeze. Squeeze tight. Fucking revive this half-alive open organ of mine.

Now usually, this gal is an open fucking book. Not today, she has too many secrets to keep to oneself. Someone talk with me.

Don't worry. I'm just a psychological killer.

terra__firma @ 2005-10-24T21:58:00

2005-10-25T02:34:40Z

Drunk Terra.

hah. My weekends have been pretty wild. That's all I have to say about that.

+I haven't been going to school on a regular basis, and well, I just don't give a fuck anymore.

Today I bought things online which always makes me feel better about being a lethargic vagina
+ I will have all the gentlemen swooning this autumn.
+ Boots are delicious; similarly to the smell of warm cupcakes.

+I hate indie kids. (total hypocrisy, I know)
+I hate indie conversations about being god's elitist fucking present to the world of eclectic music.
+Fuck you, you indie rocker.
+Fuck that fucking scene, while I'm at it. You're disgusting and clearly, have no style. Handkerchiefs are to be used to blow nasty boogers out of your noses or wipe the sweat from your brow, not utilized to wipe your poopy ass through your buttocks red (orange is too vintage for you kids) tab levi's jeans 518 super-low rise pocket.
+Been there, done that. Sry Fgts.

Sorry, that may have been irrelevant to you, but today changed a lot of things.

ALSO
+NMH makes me feel better about myself; especially "Two Headed Boy".
+I just want to be loved.
+I need cup of coffee.
+I'm not smoking pot, anymore.
+I live life to dream.

You know you would die if you no longer had any dreams. It keeps us going; they keep us breathing; believing. What keeps that heart of yours ticking?

terra__firma @ 2005-10-22T16:53:00

2005-10-22T21:09:35Z

Two Best Friends.

Hey! Today is Saturday. I have so much work ahead of me. Everything is alright. My lungs feel a lot better, albeit I was sick with something like the flu or the mono or something atrocious like that. Monday I couldn't walk. I had a fever of 102.0; pretty nasty stuff.

+I think that redhead is pretty.
+Shocking!
+Heather wants to take pictures of me in the nude, or in a white flowy sheer dress on the beach, and develop them all by herself. I am very much intrigued and probably going to let her.
+One step closer to becoming famous.
+Assurance and relief are two things I really like to feel.

In other news..
+I will not be dropping out. I've been pep talked to death.
+Well, all good things until the second sememster.
+Sex feels good.

I can't think of anything else at the moment. I want to grow up to be a debaser.